Neglect

I'm feeling quite bad at the moment.  This poor little blog is getting about as much attention from me as a Sky Sports channel.  To be honest, I've got post ideas coming out of my ears but I've also had other little projects that I've been focusing on right now that have taken over a little. 

To be honest, sometimes when I sit to type it can kinda feel like, oh so what, who actually cares about this thing.  A lot of marketing and pr activities can feel like a slog at some points, especially when the results don't seem clear straight away.  Of course it's everybodies dream that as soon as they set up a new business they're passionate about everyone around them will buy into it and a new client or media lead will appear with every blog post or PR article wishfully emailed to the press. 

I had my boost when I went to a party on Saturday night and a couple of the women there had been talking about this blog before I arrived, are they likely to want coaching, maybe.  Are they likely to talk to people who want coaching, possibly.  Is it definite, no.  But people are talking, and that is invaluable for a start up business so if you have just set up and are finding it difficult to keep going with the basic of marketing activities please keep going, you will see the fruits of your labour, I promise. 

So thank you ladies for showing me that this time is not a waste, that it does bring something to people's lives, even if it is to laugh at my reluctance to learn french!!! 

My own issues

O.K.  So last night hubby and I were talking about our holidays, we decided on a date and I thought we'd decided to go to Conwy in Wales.  Then he throws France into the mix (he's got a habit of doing that, just as I think a decision has been made he throws it all up in the air).  We're planning on driving to wherever we go and hiring a cottage, I was quite happy with Wales and didn't really want to start looking at France.

I've got two issues with going there on holiday;

1/ I went on a driving holiday to France must have been seven years ago now and totalled my car on their motorway.  Don't know how but lost control and used the central barrier as a substitute break.  As a result missed the ferry back and had a mammoth fall out with best friend.

2/ At school we had a french teacher called Mrs Gregory, she was an evil tyrant, was tough on people who got things wrong and I quite often ended up in the corner with the dunce hat on.... No joke, the woman still used a dunce hat!!  As a result I can not speak even the most basic of french and have a real mental block about even trying.  Because of this the aforementioned holiday was a bit of a nightmare because my friend had to do all the talking while I sat mute, which as anybody who knows me will confirm, doesn't sit comfortably. 

So, now here is the love of my life wanting to go on holiday to the same region I went to back in my days as a single woman.  And there I am practically whimpering like a baby because I can't even bring myself to mutter a word of french..... Oh dear! 

Guess what, we're going to France in June.......  Time I started to practice what I preach me thinks.  Anybody know any french teachers with the patience of a saint?

xx 

Let me tell you a story about a little girl who made a request for Christmas, she asked for a typewriter.  Her parents were surprised and they loved her very much so they went out into town on a cold December weekend and eventually found a nice typewriter.  They carried it home, not an easy job because it was very heavy and wrapped it in pretty Christmas paper.  Christmas morning came and the excited little girl charged down the stairs and admired her presents with glee.  The huge box caught her attention particularly.... Her typewriter!!!!! 

Eventually her mum and dad came down and they were all able to rip open their presents, the little girl saved the big box for last, she knew what it was and was building up to opening it.  Finally, the time came, she took off the paper and inside was a box, and inside the box, was a typewriter.  The little girl's heart sank, her shoulders drooped and she murmured a polite thank you.  She duly removed it from the box, fed through a piece of paper and clunked down on the heavy keys one by one, later the typewriter went into her wardrobe where it stayed until it was eventually (and regrettably) lost in a housemove. 

You see, the thing is, the little girl actually wanted a computer like the ones they had at school, that was all sleek and electronic, the keys worked with a light touch and the paper came out of a printer.  The problem was she didn't really know that a computer wasn't a typewriter and a typewriter wasn't a computer. 

So, next time somebody asks you what it is that you want before you answer make sure of the following;

• You know exactly what it is that you want.  If you don't know for sure then how can your requests be followed through.
• You communicate your needs and wants precisely and clearly.

Your Inner Saboteur

You may recall that back in January I spoke to you about my friend Fear and her sister Excitement.  I was encouraging you to embrace Fear because actually she isn’t as bad as she at first seems.  Well today I’m going to talk to you about another woman, she doesn’t deserve a name so we’ll just call her your inner saboteur. 

She’s the one who plonks herself on your shoulder and whispers sour nothings in your ear.  For example, you have a fabulous business idea, you know you can do it because you’ve got the skills, knowledge, experience and capabilities to pull it off but something is holding you back.  The movie you’re creating in your mind is one of great stuff, you’re happy and you’re dead excited about it but then you hear yourself say ‘nah, nobody’ll pay for that’ or ‘why would they come to me when her over there is already established in that area’ STOP RIGHT THERE.  That actually isn’t your voice you can hear it’s the cunning voice of your inner saboteur.   If your inner saboteur was a walking talking living breathing woman she would be an incredibly successful impersonator.  She isn’t you, she just sounds like you

Your inner saboteur is nothing but a compound of all things that you have told yourself to be true, all the things you are scared of and all the things you wish were true so you can remain in a state of comfort and security.  She at best keeps you inert at worst pulls you back, like the cliché bitter best friend who isn’t happy so stops you from being happy only she’s so damn good at it you don’t even notice.

I have only one piece of advice, ditch her, listen out for her empty promises of failure and laugh in her face.  Hopefully she’ll be so humiliated at being discovered that she’ll go hang out with some other poor sod.

Finding Your Purpose – Action

You can have all the big ideas and dreams in the world but unless you take action that’s all they’ll ever be.  People can be hesitant when it comes to taking action to move themselves forward in either career or personal life, life as it is right now can suddenly appear really cozy, that’s your inner saboteur talking, I’ll introduce you to her properly later.  Today I want to talk to you about getting the wheels of change in motion.

There’s a mnemonic I learnt not long ago and it’s a real sticker; POOR

Pass

Over

Opportunities

Regularly

People who are rich in knowledge, skills, experience, wealth, well being, love and joy take up opportunities as they present themselves, even better they go out into the world and create opportunities.  This is simple to do, go out and meet people, build your network, start to do some research into the first steps you need to take to turn your ideas into reality, even doing the research is taking action and will help to build the internal desire needed to steer yourself towards the horizon.

Finding Your Purpose – Your Skills

Let’s talk about how naturally skilled and capable you are.  Ouch, I hope you didn’t bang your head while diving under the table.  Why do women always shy away from blowing smoke up their own proverbial?  Instead preferring to brush off compliments by acknowledging external factors rather than sticking our hands up in the air and saying ‘Yes, it’s because I’m great’. 

O.K.  I’m not saying that we should start turning all narcissistic and egotistical but what’s wrong with recognising that you are skilful and that you are capable?  Do you know your skills and capabilities?  Have you ever sat down and written down everything that you are, or have ever been good at?  Even long forgotten skills can be resurrected with a little practice. 

When finding your purpose in life and designing your future what you’re fab at is what you’ll enjoy doing and make the most success out of.  If you’re at a crossroads and unsure of the best way forward with your life and career knowing your skills and capabilities will ensure that you start making the right journey for you.  If you can’t stand maths and left school not knowing your times tables then trying to earn a buck as a book keeper really isn’t going to pan out but if you loved drama and performing maybe you could look at some kind of public speaking work. 

While I was filming with Cavendish last month we were chatting over a sandwich and I was reminded of the first (and last) book I ever wrote, I was nine years old and wrote a children’s story then sent it off to be published.  It was my aim to be Britain’s youngest ever published author, of course my scribbles on notepaper weren’t published but they did send me a thanks but no thanks letter.  At nine years old I recognised a skill I possessed and wanted to make it pay.  Shame I went into hibernation for the next 20 years and am only now putting pen to paper (or rather nail to keyboard) again.

I want you to go away now and list everything you are good at, everything you have ever been good at, everything you have ever wanted to be good at.  Don’t be put off if you suffer from  a spluttering start, it’s not a task we’re all used to, persevere and before long you’ll be on a role and surprising yourself at exactly how marvellous you are.

Finding Your Purpose – Dreams

Short post to today, last minute family visit means I’m really stretched for time at the mo.  During my interview with Cavendish Films we spoke a lot about dreams.  Often my clients tell me with a sigh that they guess they’re daydreamers, as if being a day dreamer is some kind of negative.

Cast your mind back to when you were a child and a teacher or other influential adult snapped you out of a daydream telling you to pay attention.  What was it you were dreaming about?  Was it what you were going to be when you grew up?  Was it a scenario that you were playing out in your mind as a film?  Then just like a packet of Jaffa Cakes, poof the dream was gone. 

As children we’re often discouraged from dreaming, instructed that you have to focus on the matter in hand, this is sad, and unfortunately we stop daydreaming altogether. 

Dreams are important; dreams are fundamentally the things that get you out of bed every morning.  Dreams are the things that drive you forward. The only reason I’m sat here in front of my laptop writing this at 6.30am is because I have a dream.   I suggest we all start dreaming again and start dreaming big. 

Allow your dreams to take on lives of their own, think of your dreams as the next blockbuster film, how big could your film be?  Only to add a grown up slant to your dreams write them down.  MAKE THEM STICK.  By writing down your dreams you start to turn them into your reality.  Simple.